In light of the holiday I figured it was an appropriate time to sit down and unwind. Obviously, blogging has not been high on my to-do list. Nor on my want-to-do list. So consider this me making up for lost time.
Perhaps this seems inappropriate...or morbid, but I've had death on my mind a lot recently. Whenever somebody in your life circle dies, I think it's nearly impossible to not think about death. None of us can avoid it, let's face that fair and square. But it is an overall looming fact. I can't say I've ever been one to be scared of death. And maybe that's because of how I was raised or because of what I believe...but nevertheless, death has always been an okay idea to me. It makes sense. I think.
The nice thing about death is that it really shouldn't be sad, unless it comes too soon. And that's something I don't quite understand. I hope that by the time I reach the end of my life, I will be ready to move on, much like Priscilla Ahn's line, "I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now." To be content at the end of my life is my ultimate goal. Just to be content.
These past few days I've been overwhelmed with the amount of love and kindness from friends and family. Viewings, I dare say, tend to creep me out. Funerals are always surreal. Sometimes the way we honor the dead doesn't always seem to add up in my mind. But maybe I'm just missing something. Eh. People are real, though. And love is real. Kindness never goes unnoticed and grace will always be admirable. There is a beautiful, streamlining connection among people where love is present. It is most evident in the face of heartache, desperation, and sorrow, but undoubtedly exists every day. We just forget to acknowledge it. Or appreciate it.
I hope that by the end of my life, every person I've had a chance to know can hold onto one good memory. At least one. Because even when you are gone, people will tell stories about you. They will laugh with you, smile with you, and carry on your legacy. The absolute last thing I want...is to pass on knowing that there is nothing left of me to survive. I have seen what that looks like and I find it to be incomparably sad. A real tragedy and a waste of life. I believe we are meant for more.
So, this Thanksgiving...I give thanks for you...for people. We are capable of such great things that should not be hindered or reigned in by fear or bitterness. I am thankful for time and bountiful opportunities to make things right and to make the better decision, however difficult it may be. I am thankful for all my friends and family who have drowned me in encouragement, given me strength, and made my burdens lighter. May you all find contentment this Thanksgiving. Create beautiful moments that will become somebody's 'one good memory' when your number is called. That seemingly passing moment will one day be a treasure. "With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."
Happy Thanksgiving, friends. Take care.
desiderata by max ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
